My Journey to Overcoming Fear and Living a Bigger Life [Part 2]
As I said in Part 1 of this story, God had decided the time was right to begin to usher me into the life He had made, just for me.
I can’t tell you whether the morning was warm or cold, how much sleep I had the night before or what I had for breakfast, but I do remember it was the day when everything changed.
Like every other day, I pulled opened the door to head off to class. But this particular morning when I opended the door, there was a sheet of paper stuck there. It was an enquiry to see if anyone was interested in being part of a short term missions trip to Nigeria in a few months. I saw it – ignored it (’cause I don’t do that sort of thing) – then this crazy thought popped into my head…I could do that if I wanted…In other words, I had the free will to make that decision…not that I would…but I could – if I wanted…which I don’t…because -I’m not one of those people that do that sort of thing…
(Fortunately) – That thought would not leave my head all morning and was a mildly annoying distraction. Finally I gave in and told God that if that piece of paper was still stuck on the door when I got back home, I’d send an email and get more information…I made sure He understood I was not saying I’d go, I was just willing to find out more.
That afternoon as I stepped off the path and began walking towards my house, my eyes were glued to the door. The paper was gone. The thing that surprised me the most was the fact that I felt disappointed. As I walked inside, however, I spotted it on the table and figured it was close enough to the door… a relief of a new kind (accompanied by a mix of fear and excitement) flooded my soul. What was happening! I started asking all my friends to pray for me because I thought that maybe, just maybe, I was meant to go on this trip…
Long story short (or shorter) I went on that 2 1/2 week trip and loved it. I came home with memories of baboons stealing sandwiches, chocolate fan milk and a Nigerian worship leader that looked like DJ Jazzy Jeff from The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. It showed me that – it was the feeling of fear itself I had been afraid of the whole time. It opened my eyes and my heart to the idea that I was indeed brave enough to live life outside the box I had created for myself.
After that initial trip, things changed dramatically for me. The next year (my last year of college) I spent a semester studying, not in Los Angeles (as I had first been considering), but London. This was followed after graduation by a year in Australia…which, because I met my husband (another story for another time) I now call home.
As a side note, I think back to it now and find it somewhat strange that it was such a big deal to me…now, after all the things I’ve done since that point. But I can still remember how overwhelmed I was by the idea of it all and had I not followed through on that trip, I may not be where I am today – living a life that is beyond what had been my wildest dreams.